Posted in Boys, Fathering, Fun on March 4, 2007|
Everyone knows about estrogen, the consummate female hormone; and testosterone, that chemical fuel of maleness. But now, in a striking new finding, a third major hormone has been identified, which up to now has been “cloaked” under the overarching influence of testosterone. This remora of hormonal entities was uncovered in a retrospective study of 3,592,103 males, conducted by Dr. Will Knotwork of the University of Whales.
The powerful hormone, tentatively named “follygen,” begins to show its influence at puberty – typically around age 12-13 in Western countries. Young males who may have been relatively sane and docile will, at a certain point, suddenly begin to lapse into unexplainable behaviors typically labeled as “insane,” idiotic,” “loony,” “brain-dead,” and “folly,” from which the newly-identified entity gained its moniker.
Examples of this behavior may include, but certainly aren’t restricted to, swinging axes in near proximity to their own flesh, riding bicycles on picnic tables, running into trees deliberately, and laughing maniacally at precisely nothing. There is extensive anecdotal evidence from parents in many cultures that “follygen” afflicts approximately 98.4% of all boys, often creating a “spillover effect” with young girls, who seem to osmose the folly from their companions and also behave as if brain-damaged.
Preliminary studies indicate that nothing can be done to treat, disarm, or ameliorate the effects of follygen. No boy or parent will escape its effects unscathed. In most (but not all) cases, the effects of follygen diminish sufficiently by the early 20’s that the prognosis of a semi-normal life is usually issued.
WARNING: Treating, or attempting to treat, follygen-afflicted individuals with such standard therapies as common sense, lectures, and sound reason will lead inexorably to side effects such as grey hair, ulcers, and overuse of cabernet sauvignon in the evening.
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